Getting Through Valentine’s Day While Going Through Divorce

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that people either love or hate. If you are involved in a new, budding romance, you are most likely caught up in the fanfare and looking forward to the big, romantic, public gestures that Valentine’s Day promises. However, those that are single, in a rocky relationship or going through a divorce or separation would just assume Valentine’s Day didn’t exist. In fact there is an entire “Anti-Valentine’s Day” movement complete with events for people that are either single or simply can’t stand the sappy decorations and public displays of affection that go along with the consumer-based holiday.

If you are going through a divorce or separation, or are even contemplating it, you most likely would rather not even acknowledge the existence of Valentine’s Day. However, there are ways to get through the holiday or even find silver-linings when it seems like everyone around you is hopelessly in love. Here is a list of ways to make it through the holiday, and even enjoy it:

1. Remind yourself that you are dissolving this relationship for a reason. Rather than reminiscing about past Valentine’s Days, think about the fact that you are in the process of moving forward to a new beginning, which includes a happier household, a happier you and happier relationships.

2. Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love, it is about acknowledging all kinds of love in the world. Surround yourself with the people that love you, whether it be family or friends.

3. If you have children, make the holiday about them. Bake cookies/cupcakes, make Valentine’s Day projects, watch a movie together. Relish in the fact that your children are no longer exposed to the tension and fighting that invariably comes along with the end of a marriage. Your children are your greatest loves, and this is a perfect day to celebrate them!

4. If you don’t have children, or they are spending the day with your (soon to be) ex, focus on you! Take a well-deserved break and get together with friends, or have a quiet day at home. Take a relaxing bath, read a good book, or even get a massage.

Remember that while it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, this too shall pass, and happier days are ahead of you. Valentine’s Day is just a day, and tomorrow it will be forgotten. You are taking the steps necessary to a better life, and for that, you deserve to celebrate!

If you are interested in mediation, or are seeking a matrimonial or family law attorney, please contact Rachel Silberstein, Esq at 646-470-0780 or email her at Consultations are available in Long Island, lower Manhattan or by telephone.  Please feel free to visit our website at for more information.

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